Lessons I have learnt in 2020

It is safe to say that 2020 has been a rollercoaster of a year. Nobody expected the things we have had to endure, but without a doubt, we've learnt so many valuable lessons. This year has simultaneously been the hardest but most rewarding and I will always be grateful for it. It is in the toughest situations that God shows how much he loves you and teaches you what your heart needs to grasp. Without the trials of 2020, I don't think I would have changed for the better, as much as I have. It has been an amazing year for personal development and I look forward to entering 2021 with this new mindset. In this post, I am going to share just a few of many lessons I have learnt this year. 

HOW TO BE RESOURCEFUL/APPRECIATION FOR HOME LIFE 

This is kind of a dual lesson because I have learnt to enjoy being home for long periods of time, whilst not getting bored. Making do with what you have/can do, has been essential for getting through this year. Can't go to the cinema with friends? Netflix Party. Can't go on a night out? Dress up and have a zoom night in. No bar crawls? Bring the bar home. The amount of creativity I have seen has been incredible and the fun I have had, even with limitations has been memorable. The virus hasn't stopped me from making some great memories with friends and family. Of course I will be making up for "lost" time when this pandemic is eventually over, but I definitely believe you can still have fun at home. I used to hate being at home for too long and that wasn't because of anything negative, I just enjoyed being out and about, however I have such a solid appreciation for home life now that I didn't have as much before. More so than ever, I have learnt to love my own company and embrace the time I get by myself. I used to view alone time as a necessity rather than a desire, but now I genuinely like just being at home and doing my own thing. 

I actually made a list of things I did whilst in self-isolation and it's been so lovely to read back. 

SOMETIMES THE HARDEST DECISION IS ALSO THE RIGHT ONE

I have had to make some pretty tough decisions this year, which quite literally broke me. I knew they were the right ones but it didn't make it any easier. In fact, I can truly say I didn't know what heartbreak felt like until this year. There have been many sleepless nights, tears and prayers asking God to take the feeling away. I'd go through my days feeling so broken and lost that I would doubt if I had even heard God clearly and perhaps it was a mistake. Every time I felt that way, God would send me a sign or speak so loudly that I knew that wasn't the case - it just hurt. Even the right choices we make for our lives can cut so deeply. I'm in a better place now and God has revealed to me exactly why I had to make the decisions I have. He has always recently shown me that some decisions I have had to make are only temporary but for a greater cause. The more I understand where God is taking me and what he is doing, the easier it becomes. Don't get me wrong, even months later it still feels like a sore wound but it's finally starting to heal. God doesn't always give us a way out of things but he promises to get us through it. I cried out to him to take the heart ache away and of course, in an ideal world he would, but I know I wouldn't have depended on him as much as I have if he did. I wouldn't have learnt new ways to navigate my emotions if he did. I wouldn't be able to comfort someone who one day goes through what I have, if he did. 

IT'S OK FOR PLANS TO CHANGE 

I used to be a HUGE planner. No really...like ridiculous. I was that person who had a 10-year plan and knew exactly when I wanted certain milestones to happen. I had a specific age I wanted kids, marriage, the lot. This year really made me take a step back and realise that life shouldn't be so planned and structured. It's fine if plans do not go the way we imagined. Just because life doesn't go to plan, it doesn't make you a failure or make your life worth any less. I used to be so harsh on myself and would blame myself every time things went "wrong". This year I learnt hat actually, life doesn't necessarily go wrong, it just goes differently. Our biggest falls, challenges and U-turns can often lead to beautiful destinations that we never considered. I planned to go to Greece with my best friends for my 21st birthday and of course due to the virus, it didn't happen. Was I disappointed? Yes. Did it make my 21st any less memorable because I couldn't go? No. I changed my plans and had a great time. Embracing what you CAN do makes life sweeter. I'm no longer fussed about things the way I used to be. I still have goals but I don't rely on them so much. 

TRANSFORMATION IS A PAINFUL PROCESS 

This year, I basically reinvented myself. I changed my style and hair because I wanted to reflect the ultimate transformation, which was my mindset. Funnily enough, this massive transformation was not one of my plans but it was God's. Let me tell you, as AMAZING and liberating as it is to be transformed by God, it is also one of the most painful processes. When you allow Jesus to take control and handle areas of your life that you blocked off, it can hurt. He'll expose parts of your heart and character that you avoided dealing with, didn't even know existed or were just too plain stubborn to acknowledge. This year I have had to unlearn bad habits and patterns, understand my motives for the way I behave and pretty much give God authority to perform a heart surgery. God showed me things about myself that made SO much sense and was the root of almost every issue I had. Some I was surprised at and others not so much. I'm glad I gave him permission to heal those areas and repair them, but I'm definitely not going to pretend like it was fun. It was anything but. I'm still going through that transformation now, because when it comes to personal development, it's a daily process. I can already feel the weights off my shoulders and I look forward to seeing how things go next year. God is so good!

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU PRAY FOR 

Prayer is a very powerful thing and it WORKS. My prayer life has changed and grown massively this year. I stopped trying to pray in a certain way and I found that removing that pressure helped me to pray more often. If I don't talk to God throughout my day, I feel very discombobulated and life gets chaotic. Prayer really does keep everything together. With that being said, I have learnt that you must be careful what you pray for. Somethings aren't your battle and the enemy can attack you if you aren't fully armed. Be vigilant about what you pray for and how you're positioned spiritually. There are some things that are way greater than you alone and it requires certain people or amounts of people to pray, in order to cause the effect you want. It is also important that when you pray for something to happen, you have to prepare for the answer or for it to manifest. I have prayed things this year that I didn't even think would happen and when it did, it SLAPPED me in the face. Best way to describe it. Do you truly want what you are asking for? Are you prepared for it? Who knew you could be so hopeful for something and still not see it coming...

GOOD PEOPLE GET YOU THROUGH BAD SITUATIONS 

This year has highlighted how vital, good people are in this life. Without love, life is truly meaningless. In one of the hardest years we have faced in decades, we have seen some of the most beautiful stories of service and kindness in our communities but also our personal lives. I was unable to see my friends throughout quarantine, yet we got each other through it. Pretty sure Zoom is the app of the year! Thankfully, technology has allowed us to stay connected to our loved ones and still connect with people around the world. I am so thankful to have great people in my life. It is in the bad situations that we can truly feel the heart of those around us. 

I LOVE THE PERSON I AM BECOMING 

Like I've said already, I used to be very harsh on myself and I always thought I wasn't close enough to the person I envisioned myself being. I never felt like I was in the right place at the right time. I had this mindset that no matter how hard I tried, I wasn't close enough to the version of myself I wanted to be. I didn't think I was "loveable enough", so I brushed off any idea my friends put in my head about me meeting the right person soon. I didn't think I was mature enough, so I would brush off the idea that I could be a mother or a wife within the next 5 years, despite that being a goal of mine when I was younger. This year, I let go of that inner bully and realised that actually I love the person I am becoming and I'm in the exact place God wants me to be right now. Do I still think I have a while to go? Of course I do, but I don't feel inadequate in comparison to that person. I think she is closer than I think and I am definitely closer than I was this time last year. That is a beautiful thought and something to celebrate. Maybe I'm not doing the things at 21 that I thought about at 17, but I still think my younger self would be proud and I need to celebrate that more often. I have my flaws but I have incredible strengths. GO ME! 

Those are just a few of many lessons I have learnt this year. This has truly been one of the best years I have had when it comes to personal growth, and despite many hiccups and trials we've all had to face, I will always be grateful for 2020. I pray you all have a wonderful new year! 

What things did you learn this year? Let me know in the comments below.

Thanks for reading,

Have a great day x