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Dear 12 Year old Self

Hi, Rochelle. It is now 2016 and you're 16 years old. Who knew how much your life would grow and develop within a space of 5 years! So much has happened and so much is going on.

Being 12 has been hard right? Probably the hardest but most memorable time of your entire life, for many different reasons. You're at that stage in your life where nothing is simple. Everything just seems...difficult. But let me tell you now, you have no idea how happy you are going to become.

Age 12 you're figuring out who you are. You have absolutely no idea what type of person you want to be. It's scary. For the next 3 years of your life, you're going to be someone you're not. You're going to try and impress other people and change just to be accepted. You need to stop convincing yourself that you need to change. Be who you really are because people will admire you for it.
You stay up late at night crying for reasons that you think nobody will understand. You sit in the classroom at school wearing your best fake smile. You feel worthless, even though you have some of the best people in your life. You don't seem to know how to deal with it and you think that those feelings won't go away, but trust me, they do. Just know that you're not the only one. Every teenager feels this way at some point in their life, so don't hide it away.
You walk past mirrors everyday, hoping to see someone different but you're still you. You beg your mum to let you wear make-up, just so that you can hide away how unhappy you are. You're constantly watching beauty gurus on YouTube, hoping that you'll be able to be as vibrant as they are. It's hard now but just you wait. You're going to develop a ton of confidence over the next few years. You're finally going to wake up in the morning in love with who you are. You'll finally display real, genuine smiles, which will brighten people's day.

Those friends that you have now are going to be the light of your life. You've known them for a couple of months so far but 5 years later at 16 years old, they are going to be family.
Speaking of friends, you're going to lose one friend who you thought would be in your life for eternity. It is going to hurt A LOT at first but it's the reason why you are who you are when you're 16. I mean nobody will ever believe you two were EVER close at one point because of how different you are. You're not going to regret one single bit of that friendship because it gives you the opportunity to meet your best friends. Although you get hurt, it makes you a better person.

You've started secondary school now and you're starting to settle down. Your grades are good and you're doing just fine. Your form tutor is pretty nice and you have a really well behaved form. However, she is soon going to leave school to live in Australia. Don't worry though, you'll get a new form tutor who you'll like. At this very moment, you're in year 11! It's your final year in school before you graduate. Unfortunately you're doing exams which stress you out constantly but you always seem to find motivation to get through them. I know you hate maths but if it helps, you pass first time, so hang in there. Prom is only 3 months away now! You've been dreaming about this day for years and it's finally approaching. I know that you want a puffy pink dress but girl, that doesn't happen at all. Your dress is nothing like you think it is going to be. It's more beautiful than you've ever pictured it to be. Oh and another thing, you've been dreaming of having  a prom date but that doesn't happen either. You end up going with friends, which you're perfectly happy with.

Speaking of dates. Still no boys. The boy you like now, is someone you could NEVER EVER see yourself being with when you're 16. Do yourself a favour and quit trying because you'll soon find out that he is not your type at all. It's funny though because you soon become the friend dishing out relationship advice, when you've never been in one. Somehow though, your advice seems to work! Being 12, having boys fancy you and flirt with you seems like a dream but once you're 16, you tend to avoid it most the time. Boys here in the future aren't all that nice.and tend to take advantage. Not all of them do, but even at 16, you still haven't found "Mr Right". I'm sure it will happen in the future though. I guess we'll find out in another 5 years.

So what is going on now? Well one huge thing that has happened is that you made a blog! It was only actually just less than a month ago when you made your first post. The response that you get from it is going to be incredible and it is going to change your life in so many ways. You think that people will judge you for it to begin with but how wrong you will be.
You're going to start travelling a lot with your family. You've always wanted to go to Florida right? Well guess what your mum does for your 16th Birthday? Yup, a 2 week trip to Florida. Your dream destination.

I still find it crazy that you can change so much in just 5 years. You honestly have no idea how happy you're going to be. Life is going to become a blessing. Don't you dare tell yourself that you are not worth it because you are more special than you know. You inspire people without even knowing it. Some how you faced your fear of public speaking and became assistant head girl at your school! That is insane! Clearly you are more loved than you think because your own peers voted for you. You are priceless. Don't let anybody ever take away your happiness, your pride or your Joy. The minute that you let people's words get to you is the minute that you allow them to bring you down. You need to believe in yourself and believe that you are special. Even at 16 there are days where you don't have confidence in yourself but you have to know that you're OK. You're different, and that is OK. You go out and you slay those lime coloured jeans that your mum bought you. You rock those braids and you go out make-up free, without a care in the world. Be who you are. There will be a day when you finally decide to be your quirky, crazy self.

It sounds cliché but it will get better. Life is a crazy roller-coaster that sometimes you may scream to get off, cry in need for help and wish the time flies by. However, it is also a ride that you want to go on over and over again. You scream with excitement and you that you would wait a long period of time just to go on.

Live your life. Every second is precious.

2 comments

  1. Wow, I'm nearly crying. I loved this so much! This is so different to what other people write, I love it. Great post Xx
    Charlotte <3
    http://vieaveccharlotte.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete

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