Dear 2019

Dear 2019,

You're only a few hours away now and I'm ready for you. Not because 2018 was awful but because it prepared me for what you have to offer. Every year, I have a theme for the year. My theme for 2018 was 'LOVE' but my theme for you is 'GROWTH'. I experienced a lot of growth this year, and I know you will continue to bring growth to my life. You see, I have no major expectations for you, which is what already makes you special. I have no idea what challenges I may come across and what amazing things are to come, but what I do know is that it will all lead me to purpose. As I was publishing 'Dear 2018', Excited by Jonathan McReynolds started playing on Spotify and it perfectly described how I feel about you. I know God will use you to bring so much Joy and Lessons. I'm ending this year with Jeremiah 29:11(NIV) on my heart. It says 'For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'. I plan to begin my journey with you, with this same scripture.

Recently, I was looking through my 2018 journal, looking back at all the memories I documented. It made me wonder what wonderful things I would be reminded of, this time next year. I wondered what person I will become when you're over. It's a scary but exciting thought. There is so much to look forward to already. The places I will go, the things I will do. God has already written this chapter, and there are 365 pages.

In 2019, I begin my 20s. Not only is that kind of mind blowing to me but realising that was a bit of a wake up call to 'get my life together'. I say that in quotations because I don't mean have everything figured out. I'll be turning 20, so still SUPER young. I'm not in any way expecting to have life planned and sorted at that age. However I think your 20s is possibly the most common era for change. People start getting married, starting families and build their careers in their 20s. By starting it healthily, it will set me up for a bright future. For that reason, I have really thought about general things I want from you.

I hope you give me opportunities to get out of my comfort zone. I love my little bubble of comfort but it doesn't stimulate any growth or form of development. I want you to push me to try new things, meet new people and just generally say yes to amazing opportunities that I probably said no to in 2018.

I hope you bring me peace of mind. That I won't overthink and trap myself in a box of anxiety. That I'll trust God with all my mind and soul. That I'll stay true to myself and KNOW that I'm an incredible human being, no matter what others may believe.

I pray that I have the best support system around me and that I can lift myself up whenever I face a challenge.

I hope I break bad habits and introduce good habits that will make me the woman I want to become.

So, 2019 I can't wait to meet you.

Love, Rochelle

Dear 2018

Dear 2018,

You've been a year of ups and downs to say the least. You've given me some of the highest highs and lowest lows and I wouldn't change a thing about you. I've met so many goals this year that have helped me to grow but I've also been down difficult roads that led to growth. If I could describe you in one word, it would be 'valuable'. There were times where I sat alone in my room and cried endlessly because of the trials I was going through but now I can see the value in those tribulations. Twenty-Eighteen, you have taught me to trust God. The challenges you threw at me taught me to put my life in his hands. My faith has grown in ways I could have never estimated. The person I am today is such a change from the person I was a year ago. You've taught me to value myself and my beliefs. There were times where my self esteem was on the ground but I'm ending the year knowing my value. I've learnt that sometimes you have to go through life, to really value yourself and see how important your beliefs are to you. I stood my ground and saw what was important to me.

You taught me that hard-work pays off. That you should always put 100% into everything you do and that you'll be rewarded for it. You taught me how to let go. Let go of friendships that were no longer pushing me towards purpose and let go when my feelings got in the way because the relationship would never work out. You taught me to learn from others and their mistakes. Twenty-eighteen you have taught me to speak up when I feel alone and you've taught me that I never am. You've taught me that some people are mad but there's always a story behind it. You taught me to be straight up with guys, but they won't listen anyway. You've taught me that beauty can shine from the inside out.
You taught me the value of money. I got my first wage back in January 2018 and since then my views towards money have changed so much. From relying on my parents, to being financially independent, I've learnt that money really doesn't grow on trees (My parents' favourite thing to tell us as kids) and I've learnt how to make money stretch. Learning how to budget has been a life skill I had never really tried to obtain until you came along.

You came with so many adventures.

• I took a family trip to Barcelona back in February
• Had my first night out
• Went back to Florida in August 
• Traveled all over the UK for work. 
• Went to a few parties
• Went to a concert
• Went to a glow in the dark Zumba class which was so much fun
• Had numerous days out with my best friends that I'll never forget. I have so many amazing memories with some of the greatest people. 

This year has probably been the closest I have been to adulthood.

• Back in January I had a meeting at the bank BY MYSELF for the first time. That's probably not a big deal to some but it definitely was for an introvert who hated ordering food over the phone, let alone discussing important financial decisions in a professional office. 
• I moved out of my family home, which was a HUGE achievement. I learnt to look after myself and stay organised. Having your own space comes with so much responsibility. You have to cook for yourself, remember things your parents would usually remind you to do, clean up, make sure you don't sleep through all 200 alarms etc. 
• I voted for the very first time, which just screams adult to be honest. I turned 18 back in September 2017 but there wasn't any opportunities to vote until we had local elections in May of this year. 
• I also started university, which again just screams adult. I still can't believe I'm doing a degree....

There have been lots of proud moments this year.

• I got full marks in my EPQ Presentation (which ended up being pretty worthless in the end -long story, but I'm still proud of that). I'm not the most confident person when it comes to public speaking, so to get 100% was such a surprise. 
• I got an unconditional offer for my university as part of a 'high achievers scheme'. When I got the email, I literally burst into my mum's room in shock. I had to read it about 3 times because I thought it was a scam. I didn't quite understand how and why I was considered good enough for it. Even when I accepted the offer and was given my place, I didn't understand it.
• I graduated sixth form, finally. Those 2 years felt like 2 decades and I was so excited to finally be done. 
• I hit my first MAJOR milestone on this blog. I reached 10,000 hits and now I'm approaching 17,000 which is kind of insane. 
• I was able to save for my first designer bag. I honestly fall in love with it all over again whenever I wear it because I worked so hard to be able to get it. I had no plans to even get a bag but I knew that I wanted to push myself to make a splurge this year. I've always been money conscious and spend more on other people than myself, so I made a goal to treat myself. I'm so glad I did. You appreciate things so much more when you work for it. 

I made some goals for you back in December 2017. Let's see how I did: 

•  Grow Spiritually - I 100 per cent achieved this. I can't explain how much my faith has developed. God has blessed me in so many ways and I'm so grateful for the change that 2018 has brought. 

• Look After My Body - I can say that I've achieved this, although not to the extent I hoped. My fitness levels have been great as I started dancing again. The celibacy journey is still going well too (we thank God), however my eating habits did take a turn, which I aim to fix next year.  

•  (Repeated Goal) Be Organised - Moving out of my family home definitely pushed me to be more organised. I kind of had no choice but to step up when it came to organisation. I still forget things and leave tasks until the last minute sometimes though so there's definitely room for improvement.
• Form Strong Friendships - I challenged myself to do this as I have always loved my own company. I am happy to eat at McDonald's alone, shop alone and chill alone. I wanted to push myself to make a conscious effort to make strong friendships. I would say I achieved half of this goal. Although I did meet LOTS of new people and made friendships in 2018, they're yet to be 'strong'. I'm sure that will change next year though. 

• Learn To Handle Stress - I made this particular goal because after doing my GCSEs and AS levels, I was able to see that I put myself under a lot of stress and had a lot of social anxiety. I of course wanted to change that. Unfortunately I still deal with anxiety, HOWEVER I have succeeded with being able to handle it. I have learnt how to minimize it and also prevent it in certain situations. 
• Read More- I definitely succeeded with this one. For the first half of the year, I read at least 1 book per month. Towards the end (when I started uni), I had less time to read so didn't read many books however I had one ongoing, which I am yet to finish. My favourite was probably 'What Alice Forgot' by Liane Moriarty. 

• Take More Pictures (I Remember The Memories But I Forget To Capture Them)- I definitely failed this. I don't know what it is, but I just can't seem to remember! I never fail to write my memories down though, so I guess that's my way of keeping memories. 

• Learn To Look After Myself In Every Aspect - Completed it. I'm so much more independent 

•  Learn how to properly budget and finance - I could definitely do better around the spending department but I've been pretty reasonable considering it was my first year of financial independence. My mum always said when I earned my own money, I could buy whatever (legal and reasonable of course), so I'm proud of myself for not going overboard. Also, thank God for student discounts. 
• Help As Many People As I Can- It's funny because I did this without even being aware. Recently I've received a fair amount of lovely messages from people saying how much my blog has helped them or just my personality in general. A couple people have said that I have a really positive and kind nature, which makes them want to be more loving themselves or just makes them feel better when they're in a bad mood. To me that is one of the best feelings and words to hear. 

So, 2018 I just want to say THANK YOU. Thank you for it all. The smiles, the tears, frustration, excitement and laughter. Every emotion felt on this roller-coaster has led me to greater. As I leave you behind, I will never forget.

Love, Rochelle. 

How To: Bible Study

I have been wanting to do this post for AGES but I kept putting it off because I know half my audience aren't christian or religious. However I really felt to do it. Maybe my page-views won't be very high with this post but I want this blog to be authentic and reflect who I am. Not only that but it's not important how many people read this. If just one person appreciates it, that is enough.

Today I thought I would share how I usually do my Bible Study. Of course there is not one way to study the bible, however this has been the most effective way for me. I've been using this technique for about 2 years and it's quite a popular method of Bible Study. The method I use is the S.O.A.P method. In this post I will be going through it step by step. Let's get started!

For this method of Bible Study, all you need is a few things. The first thing you need is a Bible. Whether it be online or a physical bible, is completely up to you. I alternate between my actual Bible and the app on my Tablet. It's nice to have a physical Bible as it gets you used to finding certain chapters and sometimes it feels more like a study, however online is also super convenient as you can find different versions and make comparisons.
The apps/websites I use are:

• The Bible App 
• BibleGateway.com
• BibleStudyTools.com

The second thing you will need is a notebook. You can use plain paper if that is all you have, however I think it is important to keep a study notebook. Keeping all your study in one place is not only super convenient, you can see the way God has worked in your life. I was looking back at my own Bible Study book from 2017 and it was so cool to see the way God has moved in my life, but also how much more God speaks to me now in comparison to back then. I started this method almost a year before I got baptized and you can definitely see the growth.

Then of course you need a pen and also a highlighter. You don't necessarily need a highlighter, however I have found it helps to remember scriptures.

So first thing is first, what does S.O.A.P stand for? S.O.A.P is an acronym that stands for Scripture, Observation, Application and Prayer. I will be going into detail for each section. It is a really clever way of studying the bible, whilst being able to apply it to your own life.

The first thing I like to do when doing Bible Study is write the date. This just allows you to track your growth when you look back at notes. I then either Title the page whatever the topic may be or clearly write the book I am studying. Following this, the first Step is 'S'.

'S' as I said stands for SCRIPTURE. This is where you will read the chapter(s) you are trying to study and pinpoint the verses that stand out to you. Whether it be a scripture that is speaking to you in some way or just a scripture you like. If I am reading a particular chapter, I will write the verses that stand out in anyway. It may not always be several, it could just be one verse. If I am studying a topic, such as 'Love Thy Neighbour', I will write down any scriptures throughout the bible that apply to that topic, that I may find interesting. I like to highlight them, if it's a scripture I feel I need to learn in that season. After you have written down all your scriptures you can move onto the next stage.

The next stage is 'O' which means OBSERVATION. This is where your actual study will go. What does the scripture mean? What is it really trying to say? What symbolism can you find? Is God speaking to you through that word? What are the key words that jump out to you? This section will often be the biggest as it is the studying section. The great thing is that God's word is full of secret messages and it never gets boring. You could read the same scriptures 100 times and get different revelation. This is your space to just write anything and everything down. You can really go into detail about how you feel about the scriptures you wrote earlier, and completely dissect them. Once you have spent some time analysing the word, you can move onto step three.

The third step is 'A' which is APPLICATION. This is where you take God's word and figure out ways it can be applied to your life, or even the lives of others around you. For example, if you were studying Luke 10:25-37 (The Good Samaritan Parable) and one of your observations was that the Samaritan went out of his way to help someone who probably wouldn't help him, within your application you could give yourself the challenge to do the same. Or you could challenge yourself to encourage your friends to help people they wouldn't usually. Your application should be how you are going to make those scriptures or observations relevant in your life. In some cases it may not be how to make them relevant but how they are already relevant. Once you have done this, you can move onto the final step.

The final step 'P' is PRAYER. This could just be a thank you to God for giving you understanding of his word. It doesn't have to be specifically related to the study. You could ask God for a better understanding of what you studied, or you could ask God for help with the application. For example, about a year ago I did a study on Stress and Worrying. In my application I wrote about wanting to go into a mock exam with confidence and my prayer section was me asking God for guidance and strength to be faithful and to worry less. You can make it super personal or quite general but you want it to link to your study in some way. It's really cool having your prayer written down because you can see how God has worked in your life. It could be on a certain issue you prayed about or even a person you prayed for who was struggling with that issue. It's so amazing to see how good God has been and observe the growth. It's honestly incredible how much God has done in so many areas I prayed about and for literally just months ago.

So this is how I do my Bible Study. I don't have a regular schedule but I'm trying to sort one out by the new year. Eventually I will get to everyday but I think it's wise to work my may there rather than throw myself into daily study and be disappointed if I fail.

I hope this was helpful for some of you or even just interesting to read about. Do you use a different method of studying? Let me know in the comments below.

Thanks for reading,

Have a great day x

4 Bad Habits I Want To Break Before 2019

December is always a super productive month for me. I like to look back at the year and evaluate all the areas of my life, whether it be good or bad. It has become essential for me to do a self evaluation and decide what traits and habits need in stay left behind as we jump into the next year. I am a firm believer that you should constantly strive for change and growth. For that reason, I have chosen four bad habits that I would like to break, BEFORE the new year begins.

The first habit I would like to break is 'Using My Phone Too Much'. I definitely think I use my phone a lot. I don't tend to use it as much when I am with my friends and family, as I like to be in the moment, however I use it A LOT whenever I am alone, especially since starting university. Sometimes I'll be scrolling through Instagram for so long without even realizing. It is a very unhealthy habit to have and I know that breaking it would make my life so much more productive. There are so many things that I could do in replacement of using my phone when I am alone. For example, I could do Bible Study (something I have definitely been lacking), I could read a book or I could write. I bet I would have gotten a lot more blog posts up if I didn't have my phone on me, all day.

Some ways I have already limited my phone use:

- I put it on Airplane mode when I am doing assignments, to stop me looking at notifications.
- I log out of Snapchat for 24 hours, every other week

Some ways I will limit my phone use:

- I will set alarms at random times in the day to tell me to turn it off
- I will do regular social media DETOX's

The second habit I would like to break is 'Over Snacking'. Again, this is a habit that I have only really picked up since being at university. Ever since I have done my own grocery shopping, I have been buying so many snacks! I think it was back in October, I spent £15 on snacks, in just 2 days. THAT'S RIDICULOUS. It was such a bad idea to have a snack section in my room, because I over eat so much. I even had M&Ms for breakfast one morning because I couldn't be bothered to go to the kitchen (sorry Mum). It was at that point that I knew I messed up. Even as I write this, I'm craving popcorn. Of course eating snacks and indulging once in a while isn't a problem, but it definitely becomes an issue when you eat more snacks than real food.
Having a Tesco on campus is probably a huge contribution to the mess I am in.

Not only do I think over eating snacks has made me sluggish, but I think it's starting to affect my overall happiness. You are what you eat. I am therefore making a conscious effort to change my eating habits.

Some ways I have already limited over eating:

- I have started buying more fruit to replace sweet treats

Some ways I will limit snacking: 

- I will set a very small budget for snacks every month that I cannot exceed
- I will replace my favourite snacks with healthier options
- I will make my snacks less accessible, by having a smaller snack box

The third habit I want to break is 'Going To Bed Late'. I'm not as bad as some people, but it is still pretty bad. I know SO MANY people who live in my building that A) Go out every other night and B) Don't sleep until the sun is up. I am definitely not at that stage, however I definitely need more sleep. My sleeping pattern isn't necessarily messed up, but I do go to bed far later than I used to. I used to go to bed at midnight and wake up at like 5:45am, which worked quite well for me. Although it was still less than 8 hours sleep, it didn't cause any issues. However, I now go to bed at like 2am and wake up at different times depending on when my lecture is. I don't know what it is, but I struggle to wake up before nine on days where I don't have a 9am. It is such a task to get up in the morning! It could be 11am and I'm motivating myself to get out of bed, whereas only 6 months ago, my alarm would ring once at 5:45am and I would already be in the shower by 5:50am.

I guess the aim is to go to bed early and wake up early. My issue is that I'm usually working on an assignment until late and get carried away or I'll be at dance until about 9:30pm, then make my dinner. By the time I have eaten and showered, it's already midnight and I still have too much energy from dancing to go to sleep.

Some ways I have already tried to stop myself going to bed late:

- I worked out what time I roughly wanted to wake up in the morning and saw what time I needed to be in bed by in order to get my full 8 hours

(SPOILER: IT DIDN'T WORK)

Some ways I will stop myself going to bed late: 

- I will set a cut off point from doing my assignment, so that I am not working past 7pm (Unless it is a last minute deadline).
- I will make sure I am off my phone, at least 30 minutes before I plan to sleep
- I will do a cool down and stretch after every dance class, to get rid of all the energy built up

The final bad habit that I would like to break before the new year is 'Overthinking'. This isn't just a habit I WANT to break, but one that I NEED to break. I am my BIGGEST bully. I have really struggled with my confidence these past 3 months and it has affected me in so many ways. Naturally I am quite a reserved person, but I also have a big character. I shy myself away from people as a way of protecting myself when I feel intimidated or low in confidence. It's very hard to explain but I feel like people who have met me will see it and understand what I mean. I'm totally aware of who I am and the character I have, however I'm very selective about who gets to see that. I almost feel like I've trained myself to shut down whenever I meet someone who could potentially hurt me. They could be the best person in the world but sometimes I work myself up to think that they don't like me and shy myself away until I end up in my own bubble. Once I'm in that bubble it's very hard for me to get out, so people can take it as a case of me not liking THEM, which is never true.

Whenever I overthink like that, it never brings anything good to my life (of course). I have really struggled to make friends at uni and go to certain events because of it. Of course I have friends but nowhere near the amount I COULD have if I treated myself a bit nicer. I look out for other people more than I look out for myself. I know I am a good person and I have so much love for people, however I somehow convince myself that nobody else thinks the same. Bit deep but it's just how it has been.

If there is just ONE thing out of the four habits that I want to break the most, it is this one.

Some ways I have already limited my overthinking:

- I have a journal that I write in whenever I feel anxious. I like to write a list of all the good things I have done that day and what I like about myself etc
- I pray about it. This is probably the most effective way for me

Some ways I will limit my overthinking: 

- I will try to push myself out of my comfort zone more often
- I will talk to someone whenever I feel anxious, rather than keeping it to myself (I'm a huge bottler and it often results in a break down of some kind)

Sorry to go so deep for the last one, but part of breaking a bad habit is admitting that it's there. I definitely think explaining it to you all will make it easier for me to be more social, especially in the second term of university. It's one of those habits that has always been around but it's only gotten this bad recently. I definitely don't want to enter 2019 with it.

So those are the four bad habits that I want to break before 2019. Do you have any habits you want to break? Let me know in the comments.

Thanks for reading,

Have a great day x

Christmas Wishlist 2018

HAPPY HOLIDAYS GUYS! As I write this, it's FINALLY December 1st. Anyone and everyone who knows me will be aware of my love for December. Not only is it the month of Christmas (obviously), it is also the final month of the year to meet the goals I set in January. University life has been jam packed so finding time to write has been a struggle. Despite that, I wanted to make sure I got some content up this month. Last year I was able to successfully complete Blogmas so it is only fair that I get at least a few posts up this year.

I thought I would kick start the month of content with my annual Christmas Wishlist. Not only does it help my friends and family but I find these posts so much fun to write. It's actually much smaller this year. So enough rambling....let's get into it. 

Perfume: 

I LOVE perfumes. It's one of those things that I don't tend to buy for myself but I use it every single day. You can't go wrong with opening a fresh bottle of perfume on Christmas morning. I don't have a specific perfume in mind but I know your collection can never be too big. 

Lip Scrub: 

Every winter my lips get super dry. Of course I'm constantly using lip balm, however I feel like I need something more intense this year. It's abnormally cold already and we've just touched December. I figured I would put this on my list because it saves me money haha. I know that the Lush bubblegum lip scrub is loved by many. 

Colourful Eyeshadow Palette: 

When it comes to eye-shadow, I definitely stick to neutral and warm toned colours, however I have recently been inspired by Tammi Clarke. She does so many beautiful looks with colour that make me want to be more experimental. The one problem is that I don't own colour. I've had my eye on 2 palettes in particular. 

- BH Cosmetics Take Me Back To Brazil Palette 

- September Rose SLUSH Palette 

Pamper Set:

I receive some sort of pamper set every Christmas and I love it. I have a lot of Netflix nights and I enjoy pampering myself whilst I watch a movie or series, so stocking up on products is a must. 

Nail Polish: 

I ask for new nail polish every year because by the end of the year, half the bottles are empty. I prefer nude for the most part. 

Lounge-wear Set:

I asked for this last year but unfortunately didn't get it. I did get a couple hoodies though so of course I was still very happy. I've never owned a cute lounge wear set so what's the harm in putting it on the list again?

Ring:

I also put this on my list last year. I got a beautiful ring with swarovski crystals, from my mum. I wear it almost everyday. However I had another ring that I used to switch between and sadly lost it in Barcelona. I love rings. They're probably my favourite thing to wear, so of course I have been trying to replace the missing one for months. I just haven't found the perfect one, so maybe someone who knows me well will find it!

Over-sized Denim Jacket: 

I'm 5'3 so anything is over-sized to me...HOWEVER all of my denim jackets are actually mid length. I've been wanting an over-sized denim jacket for a few months. I totally forgot to ask, for my birthday but I guess it's because it was starting to get cold. Denim jackets were the last thing on my mind. Sitting down right now and creating this list reminded me of how much I want one in my wardrobe.

A Bluetooth Speaker:

This is probably the thing I want the most this year. I'm always listening to music and I'm not sure why I have never thought to buy one or ask for one before. I feel like being at uni has made me realise how much my life needs one LOL. I'm not fussed on the brand or anything like that. As long as it does the job, it's perfect. 

Still Me By JoJo Moyes:

Would this be Rochelle's wish list without a book? I don't think so. The book I really want to read is Still Me by Jojo Moyes. I've read both Me before You and After Me. I loved them! When the third book was released earlier this year I knew I needed to read it but I never got around to buying it.

That's everything on my list for this year! Fingers crossed I can tick everything off. Of course I'm not expecting to receive everything but there's always that little bit of hope, right?

What's on your Christmas list? Let me know in the comments.

Thanks for reading,

Have a great day x