It's OK To Be Alone

Being alone. The thing that people seem to fear. We live in a generation where being alone has become an irrational fear. We crave attention and we want to be wanted. As a whole, the idea of being alone is made out to be the worst thing possible but the truth is, that isn't the case. Being alone can enrich your own self esteem and allow you to focus on other important things than a companion. There are so many benefits to being alone, both physically and in terms of relationships.

When you are alone, you have time to figure out exactly what you want. What you want in a partner, what you want in a friendship, what you want in life. Don't waste your time feeling sorry for yourself but use this time to focus on setting your standards and goals you want to achieve. People often settle for less than they want and then this causes problems within relationships. Katy Bellotte said it perfectly. It's kind of like being stuck in quick sand and instead of trying to get out of it, you settle and just accept that that's the way it is. When you purchase a shirt online and it looks nothing like the picture and you don't like it, you don't just settle and keep it anyway (unless you forget to return it), so why is anything else in life any different? You deserve to be happy and satisfied with everything in life. Being alone can give you the opportunity to figure out exactly what that is. Then, once you've met someone, you need to make sure you don't settle for anything less than what you want. It's time to be selfish.

Just like I said earlier, being alone lets you focus on other important parts of your life. For example, school, work, your interests and hobbies etc. You don't have to compromise. You don't have to give up certain things for anybody or watch other sectors of your life deteriorate because you've focused so much on maintaining a relationship or friendship. I feel like its for the best that I'm not with anybody right now. I'm so tied up with other things that the poor guy would barely see me and that wouldn't be fair on him. It's OK to focus on what is important to you and again, be a little selfish.

I personally feel that a relationship can not be successful without self love. I don't know about you but I don't want to only feel beautiful when my boyfriend/husband tells me I am. I want to feel beautiful because I am beautiful. I want to feel confident because of my own experiences and my own character. Without self love, a relationship just doesn't seem to work. This is why being alone is great. When you're alone, you have time to work on yourself. Get real comfortable because you're going to get real familiar with yourself. When you're alone, you have no other option but to love yourself and learn to feel comfortable being on your own. If you have enough time to really get to know yourself, when somebody else walks into your life, they can not change you. You know who you are and you love yourself enough not to be dependent or reliant on anybody else. If anybody ever tries to change who you are, you have enough self love to walk away from that situation. Of course just walking away isn't easy but self love makes it a whole lot easier, don't you think? How many of you have dated several people because you feel that you need someone to love you? How many of you have stayed in a toxic relationship because you are afraid to be by yourself or without someone by your side? How many of you have allowed yourself to be repeatedly cheated on by the same person and stayed because you hope that one day they will see that you are enough? If you have ever felt that way, its time to face your fear and be alone.

Being alone doesn't just shape your character but it reduces the heartbreaks. I've never had my heart broken but I'm sure it sucks.In fact I know it sucks. If you're alone enough to know exactly what you want in a relationship, when it finally comes, hopefully its a success! Would you rather date 10 people and the 11th be the one or date 1 person and they be the one? I know which one I would pick.

So yes, being in a relationship is beautiful and love is beautiful but you know what else is? You. You're beautiful and you're enough. You don't need anybody but yourself. Of course it is important that we are surrounded by a good support network but how is that possible when we don't know what makes a good support network in the first place?

Remember there is a difference between feeling lonely and being alone.  My advice to you if you're feeling lonely is to get to know yourself and once you're familiar with that person, introduce them to others. Network and socialise with people you may think will benefit your life. Of course not everybody is religious but personally the first thing I do when I feel lonely is pray or study the bible. I instantly feel closer to God and no longer feel lonely. Believe me, if you believe, it 100% works.

I hope this has helped you guys and if you've had a negative view on being alone or the single life, you'll see it in a more positive light.

Thanks for reading,

Have a great day x