Bad Days.

So, I had a different blog post that was all ready to publish but I thought I'd post something different today. I usually plan my blog posts but this is very raw and spontaneous. I'm literally just writing this on my phone from the top of my head so I'm sorry if its not the best.

Today I've been having one of those horrible days where I've just felt bad about myself. Not appearance wise but other aspects. I don't know, I've almost felt a bit lost and all over the place. Like I've lost myself and I'm not sure where or who to turn to (besides God). I've had a bit of a confidence drop recently due to a collection of things and events. I haven't told anyone about it but I've very much felt different these past few weeks. Some people may have noticed and others probably not. I wish I could write this the way I want it to come across but its not easy.

Overall, I'm a very outgoing person, I can be super crazy and i'm definitely a people person but recently I haven't felt like that person. I've tried to be but it doesn't feel as natural as it should be. I think because my confidence has dropped a bit, so has other personality traits. I'm still myself but not 100%, do you kind of get me? I'm not sure if I make sense to be honest.

During this time of feeling not so great, I've just felt a bit alone. And of course I have friends and family, but when you're not completely secure in yourself it doesn't matter how many people are in your life, it can often feel like hardly anyone is there. Like an unheard screaming fan at a concert way at the back of the arena.

This post doesn't have much of an aim to it, its literally just me talking I guess. Maybe someone who comes across this will relate, who knows.

I'm not going to lie and say that I'm positive and happy all the time because I'm not. I try to be but sometimes life gets the better of you. It wouldn't be possible not to sometimes feel hurt about things people may do or say to you and its not possible to always brush off when you feel down. Sometimes it takes time. I have bad days that last longer than a day but also some that last about an hour before i'm over it.
My point is that everyone has bad days but its how you combat them and how you get back up when you fall.

Even the happiest people can feel unhappy and thats something we all need to remember. When I'm not feeling the greatest, like today, I like to just think. Think of all the reasons why I feel the way I do and cry about it. I think, overthink and think again until I've cried as much as I need to. Believe it or not, crying doesn't make you weak, it can actually make you stronger. Once I've got all the tears out, I like to write down on a piece of paper all those thoughts and then scrunch it up and throw it in the bin. By doing that, I release all the emotion that has bundled up and I choose to let it go. All those insecurities and thoughts that probably aren't true go straight in the bin. I choose to let it go and move on. Today I wrote 3 pages. Three whole pages. And right now it is happily ripped apart in the bin, and I'll never look back. If you keep those thoughts, it will get the better of you but if you choose not to accept it and to think NO thats trash, then it can help you grow. I literally started writing this about 20 seconds after throwing it and I thought I would share that. Not sure why, I just felt like it I guess.

I'm sorry for this. Its not the best post and probably irrelevant to anything in your life but I started this blog to not only help you guys but me too in a way.

If you're having a bad day, wipe the tears away, lift your head up and look forward to the blessings. I love you lots and I know others do too.

Thanks for reading,
Have a great day x