Season of Singleness

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE!

I don't really celebrate Valentines Day. Partly because there's no boo to celebrate it with *cries* but also because I believe in showing your love and appreciation for others, EVERYDAY. Despite that, I love the Joy that the holiday brings. Seeing other people happy, makes me happy. I hope you've had a great day whether you've spent it with a loved one; friends, family or by yourself.

Today's post is going to stick with the same theme that I'm sure you've read a lot about this month. LOVE. *Alexa play Minnie Riperton - Loving You*

As you can tell by the title, this post is going to be about my 'Season of Singleness'. You're probably thinking, what in the world is 'Season of Singleness'?. If you're a Christian, you'll know exactly what it is. A season of singleness is exactly what's on the tin. It's remaining single at a time in your life, whilst focusing on your personal growth and lifestyle. It's riding solo, completing the missions you want to complete before you meet your other half. Obviously there is no way of knowing WHEN you'll meet your other half but the aim is to remain single before you make any commitments with them.

Having a season of singleness can be so beneficial to both you as an individual and your future spouse. You have so much time to work on your weaknesses, strengthen your strengths and learn to be content with life, whether you have someone to share it with or not. I could make a whole separate post on that, but today we're going to be focusing on what I want to get out of my own journey.

I've been single my whole life. Yup, a whole 19-years. I've had my little flings and what not as a kid, talked to some guys here and there but obviously that doesn't count. I've never been in a serious relationship. Partly because I'm super picky but also because I know it's just not my time yet. Being single and having a season of singleness are different to me. Being single is just a status, but a season of singleness is an actual period in your life. That period for me has begun this year. I started my year with the intention to dedicate 2019 to myself. Sounds diva-ish but I promise it isn't. I want to actively go out of my way to focus on my character, lifestyle and mindset.

Since this blog is a documentation of my journey to and through adulthood, I thought it would be a good idea to share the goals I want to meet during this season in my life. I don't know how long I will remain single for. It may be a year, three years, even ten, but I know God's timing is the best timing. In the meantime I want to spend 12 months meeting personal goals and serving others.

I saw a quote on Instagram back in 2018 that said something on the lines of 'Be the dream woman your dream man would want', and that really stuck with me. We spend so much time focusing on the ideal boyfriend/girlfriend we desire, without really working on ourselves. A relationship takes work on both sides, so we should make sure we are ready to offer the same things we expect from them. You can't make it essential for your boyfriend to have stacks of money in the bank if you don't have that yourself, or at least have a job of your own. You can't expect your man to be ambitious if you don't have a clue what you want out of life. I want to make sure I am the dream woman my dream man would want. All of my goals really centre around that idea. I don't mean be perfect because the perfect woman or person doesn't exist, but we should strive to be the best version of ourselves.

The first and number one thing I want to get out this season, is to develop my relationship with God. For me PERSONALLY I want a relationship that has Christ smack bang in the middle of it. If he isn't in it, I don't want it. God created marriage in the first place, so if anyone is going to guide us through it, it's him. There are many verses in 1 John 4 that tell us that God is Love or that love comes from God.

Examples:
1 John 4:7 

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

1 John 4:8

Whoever does not love does not know God. because God is love. 

1 John 4:19

We love because he first loved us.

God is the ultimate guide and instruction manual for true love. If I want Christ to be in the middle of my relationship, I must first TRULY know God. There is no better time to do that than whilst you're single. Of course I will continuously draw nearer to him even when I'm married and have a family of my own, but using my season of singleness to spend time with him is vital. When you're in a  relationship (especially the earlier stages), you can get so distracted and end up spending all your time with them. If I create a firm foundation when it comes to my relationship with God, it will be much more difficult to lose sight of him. I want to find the ministry I belong to, study the Bible in depth and just overall spend time with him. 

The second thing I want to do during this season is pray for my husband. God listens to our prayers and he knows exactly what we desire. Making them known to him can only do good. Sometimes I pray for certain character traits I want him to have and other times I just pray for his well-being and safety. Whether you know him yet or not, he is still YOUR MAN. Pray like he already is. I found a bunch of prayers and prayer topics on Pinterest back in 2017/18 that I use sometimes. Pray that whatever he is going through in his life right now, that he'll have strength; pray for his physical emotional and spiritual health, pray for him to develop his leadership skills etc. There is absolutely no harm in asking God to do these things. There are so many scriptures on the power of prayer. 

Examples
1 John 5:14

This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us

Matthew 7:7

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 

Job 22:27 

You will pray to him and he will hear you

The most important thing is that you pray with faith that God will come through for you/them, and TRUST IN THE LORD. 

Here is one of the prayer guidelines I use: 
https://healthychristianhome.com/2018/01/29/praying-for-your-husband/

The final thing I want to get out of this season is to work on my personal growth. I'm someone who HATES getting out of my comfort zone, so this year I really need to work on that. I've been trying hard to be more of a yes person and to do things that scare me. It's been....challenging to say the least. Not only do I want to work on building my character, but I would like to work on things that are important in a relationship, such as being more open and learning to forgive. Things that don't come easy when you're anxious (love that for me). Hopefully this time next year, I'll be more laid back and a little more free.

Did you celebrate Valentines Day? Let me know in the comments.

Thanks for reading,
Have a great day x