Lessons I've Learnt in 2019

Christmas is only a few days away and we're so close to the end of the decade. That's exciting, scary, crazy, all the words. This year has been an absolute whirlwind and it's safe to say I've learnt a lot. I thought it would be nice to share some of those lessons with you all. Some of them are big life lessons that will really stay with me long term, and others are just little things I've learnt about myself and the world around me.

Disclaimer: They are in no particular order

1. You won't always meet your goals - and that's OK.

I made so many goals for 2019. I had a total of 19 things on my vision board, and after looking at it last week I realised I had only achieved 6. Six is better than nothing but I instantly went into overthinking mode and was super down about it. I thought I would achieve at least half, so when I saw I didn't, I began to really doubt myself. After talking to friends; who really encouraged me and made me realise I was being stupid, I got out my rut and came to the conclusion that it's OK. In life you're not going to reach all your goals when or how you want. Somethings aren't meant for now. It's OK not to have everything figured out.

2.  I put too much pressure on myself

This links quite nicely to the first lesson. I've always known that I'm a perfectionist, but I only understood how severe it is this year. I put such unrealistic expectations on myself. I know the potential I have to succeed and be the person designed in my head, that I put tons of pressure on myself to do well. I've realised that it's pretty unhealthy to constantly expect myself to always win. It makes failing so much harder to deal with. Although I know failure is a huge part of life that I'm inevitably going to come face-face with, it doesn't make it any easier. I get stressed and worried by the tiniest inconveniences and setbacks.

3. You can be super productive with just a laptop and Tesco Meal Deal

This year has been a really productive year in terms of academia. I didn't realise the power of a Tesco Meal Deal until second year of university.  It helped me to pass an exam with flying colours that I definitely didn't think I was going to pass, get assignments in on time and catch up on 2 hour long boring lectures. Every little REALLY does help.

4. When friendships end, it's for a reason.

I have struggled with friendships this year. What has made it so frustrating is that there has been nothing to cause it. No arguments and no change. I spent a lot of time wondering why and what happened. I started to blame myself and think I was an issue, because it was becoming a pattern, but actually I'm not the issue. There is no issue, sometimes friendships just reach it's expiration date. There is always a reason for friendships ending, even if we don't know the reason. I've learnt to just accept it, wish them the best and carry on.

5. Grief is hard.

This year was my first experience dealing with grief. I had never dealt with a loss like this before. Grief is hard and it comes in waves. It has almost been 3 months and although it's getting easier to cope with, it will never be easy. It's becoming harder again now that Christmas is coming up.

6. Eyelash Extensions are addictive.

I had my eyelashes done for the first time in years in the summer and they have been one of my favourite things to come into my life this year. I feel so bald without them and they just make me feel so much more put together. They're pretty addictive. I had a 2 month break after summer, to let my natural lashes breathe, but now they're back and bigger than ever haha.

7. I'm stronger than I think.

I doubt myself a lot. Perhaps it's because of my expectations and perfectionism. This year I've cried lots and felt so emotionally exhausted, but I've learnt that I'm a lot stronger than I think I am. I look back at the struggles of this year and I'm proud of myself for getting through it. There were times when my mental health was basically on the ground, but here I am typing away and sharing my lessons with you all with a smile.

8. You can't tell stupid people why they're stupid

I'm not being literal here. What I mean is that when someone has a stupid opinion or view towards something, you can't always prove to them why their view is wrong. I've learnt that some people really begin to believe their own lies and the lies of the world. You can't change that. Just leave them to believe what they believe and don't waste your energy trying to convince them of the "right" way of thinking. It can be pretty hard to bite your tongue, but stubbornness is hard to fight, so don't.

9. Booking holidays can get stressful

This year I booked my first holiday without my parents and although it was a fun experience, there were times where it got pretty stressful. Mainly when it came to cases and things. I really don't know why some airlines don't include baggage within the price. Where are we going to go with no belongings? I know it's a way of making extra money but it's a bit ridiculous. Anyway, there were some moments of stress and panic but it turned out to be one of my favourite holidays ever and now I have experienced my first holiday booking shenanigans. YAY

10) Boundaries are Important

Boundaries are important. They protect you. Without boundaries we are vulnerable to danger, heartbreak and consequences. It's important to make and STICK to boundaries, no matter how much you may want to break them. A lot of the problems I have encountered this year have been a result of lack of boundaries. This year more than anything has taught me that it's good to have boundaries and you should never feel pressured to remove them. They're for your own good and you have to put yourself first.

So these are some of the lessons I have learnt this year.

Thanks for reading,
Have a good day x