I have been sick to my stomach at the pain that our community is suffering. It has become physically draining to have to stand up for our community, just to have freedom. It hurts so much to still have to tweet #blacklivesmatter in 2020. I'm tired. We're all tired. But why is it that my frustration is viewed as less than others just because I'm lightskin? I saw a Tik Tok of a beautiful dark skin girl showing her beautiful features. I LOVE seeing black women embrace their beauty and I thought everyone else would too but some of the comments were appalling. "You're not dark skin", "You're not even dark" etc etc. Why does it matter? Why do we place each other on a scale? She is a BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMAN. One comment in particular that really hurt to read was when a lighter skin girl commented that she has also had to deal with not loving her black features and so many black women attacked her for that. One even said that "dark skins have to deal with it more" or something along those lines. Just because someone has a broken arm, doesn't mean someone else's burn doesn't hurt. It may be a different type of pain but it is pain nonetheless.
As a lightskin black woman I completely see and understand that I have a certain privilege that many in our community do not, and it's not fair. I wish that was not the case, I really do, however, just as you did not CHOOSE to be dark skin, we did not CHOOSE to be light skin. Why should we be seen as though we're not as much of a member of this community because we don't have as much melanin? Why should we not feel just as tired as everyone else in the community? Perhaps my insecurities and problems have not been a result of my skin tone, but I've had to deal with insecurities that many black women do.
I have 4C hair. I grew up hating it. I felt abnormal with it. I went to a predominantly white primary school and although the children never said a bad word about it, I felt like an outcast. Every other girl could sit on the carpet and just listen to the story but I was always the girl who had their hair touched. Everyone with natural hair knows that feeling. I was a part of a dance group and whenever we had to put our hair in a high ponytail or half up, half down style for shows, I felt like an outcast because I couldn't have my natural hair in order to do that. My options were extensions and braids. Even then, I stood out because it would never look like theirs.
I have a "black nose". Yes there are people with bigger and wider noses than mine but my nose is not eurocentric. Again, I grew up hating it. I was determined to get a nose job when I got older because I hated having a wide nose. It was the first thing I would notice on myself and I hated it. When I first got into makeup I tried contouring it and when it didn't work I was frustrated.
My point of sharing all of that is not for pity or sympathy, it's to show that just because I am light skin, it doesn't mean I haven't experienced self hatred BECAUSE I AM BLACK. Even the fact that I am the lightest in my family and people would ask me if I am adopted, made me hate my skin. Just because my pain isn't the same, does not mean the pain wasn't and isn't there.
This has to stop. All this competitiveness and downplaying each other has to stop. If we as a community cannot be united, how are we supposed to expect other communities to unite with us? We experience prejudice too. People thinking you're arrogant just because of the colour of your skin. People thinking you're less black just because physically you have less melanin. It has to stop.
As a daughter to a black man and black woman. A sister to 2 black brothers, I am just as frustrated as you. We are not your enemy. We are on your side.
And to the people reading this that say 'I see no colour', I leave you with this. See it. See it VERY clearly. See every detail. Every fine line (or lack of because face it, we age well). See the colour and honour it.
I could keep writing until my fingers bleed but if I'm being honest I should hope this is enough. We all want the same thing, please don't forget that.
Whether dark skin, light skin or in-between, you are enough.
Justice for George Floyd Petition: If you have not signed it, please do. It takes less than 2 minutes but the impact could be more than you know.
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