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Confidence. (Day 12)

Confidence. It's not an easy thing to have, but it's not impossible. For so long, I didn't have it. I used to be such a shy person. I hated being the centre of attention and I constantly cared about what other people thought of me. Anything I did or said was to impress other people and I was so caught up in all the trends like having BBM just to fit in. I don't regret getting BBM though because I have so many memories from it! My point is, I didn't do things because I wanted to do it, I did it because I wanted people to like me. But that is just wrong!

You should NEVER let other people live YOUR life. There are going to be people smarter than you, prettier than you, more wealthy than you, but they are not you! You are an amazing person. There is nobody like you! If you're a twin or you have siblings/look alikes, that still doesn't make them you. They may look like you but their heart beats differently, their thumb prints are different, they have a different number of hair strands than you. The details are important! Don't forget them.

People are always asking me, and I mean ALWAYS, how I have so much confidence. There isn't even space on this page to explain my journey! It was a long ass road guys! Confidence for some may just come out of the blue but I really had to work hard for it. I adore my friends because they were through it all. They have been with me from the nights I cried myself to sleep to the nights where I've been so hyperactive that I've not been able to sleep. Words can not describe how much I love and appreciate what they've done for me. They're the reason why I can write this blog post right now with a huge smile on my face.

Everyday is a new day to make a difference. Forget yesterday and don't worry about tomorrow. You can't do anything about them! It's all about today. Had a bad day? You still have hours, minutes, seconds to change it. I challenge you to walk straight up to a mirror and tell yourself three things you love about yourself, every morning when you wake up. It sounds so dumb but it works! If you tell yourself enough, you'll believe it! Why should you wait for other people to say those things? The mind is a weapon. It can hurt you or defend you. You choose it's role.

I think the one thing I was afraid of the most, was not being liked. And I don't mean by boys or anything like that (although that was always an issue too), I mean in general. I used to hate the idea of someone hating me! I just hated the idea of someone talking to their friends, telling them how much they didn't like me. I've ALWAYS tried to be nice to everybody. Kindness is the most attractive thing in my opinion. However not everyone is going to like you. It's not something you can really change. I mean you can't like everyone. I don't like rude people but I can never hate them. Hate is such a strong word. I mean Donald Trump is very close to that top position but I don't hate anybody. Everyone has a different story and reason for being who they are and doing what they do.

I've learnt that you could be the sweetest strawberry in the entire planet and there are still going to be people who don't like strawberries. That is something I live by. It's ok if people don't like you. You weren't born to impress them.

Now confidence can come in many forms. Such as self-esteem and confidence to do something. A lot of people lack in self confidence when it comes to appearance. Let's face it, there are a lot of BEAUTIFUL people in this world. It's hard to compete right? Well that's the thing, it shouldn't be a competition at all. You can't compare yourself to those models you see on Instagram. I swear to you Instagram is dangerous! As much as I love it, that app really knows how to take away your self-esteem! Some models ONLY have their looks to get by. Of course that isn't all of them but a lot of them only have their perfect skin and gorgeous eyes to get them through life. Their looks pay the bills. But do you know how lonely and upset some of them can actually be? For instance, I was watching Essena O'neill's video about "quitting social media" a few months back on YouTube. She basically confesses how miserable she's been since her following increased and she started doing more modelling etc. I will leave the link to the video at the end of this post. She seemed happy in her images and YouTube videos but inside she was MISERABLE! Looks are nothing. They only go so far. It is hard to think that way, I get it, but it's really true. As a teenager, looks seem like the most important thing in the world but it isn't. As kids nobody cared, so why do we all now? I can make a whole separate post on self confidence when it comes to physical appearance so I won't go into too much detail. I'm going to keep it general.

The other kind of confidence people tend to lack and want is the confidence to do something. That could be trying a new skill, meeting someone for the first time, or even making a blog/YouTube channel. It all takes courage and confidence. Things that may be stopping you could be fear of being rejected, fear of being judged etc. You only live one life so go for it! Are you really going to not meet that person you've been talking to for weeks because someone else wants to interfere and tell you it won't work out? Do you really care about what those girls with no qualifications are saying behind your back? Are you really going to not TRY because of other people? OK fair play if what you want to do is extremely dangerous and morally wrong, but other than that, go for it! You do you! Nobody can tell you not to jump into that lake fully clothed (unless they're you're parents then skip that one).

You can do so much. You have so much power and ability, so why not?

Try to do one thing a day that scares you. That is something I learnt from Katy Bellotte. Whether that be popping up to someone you really want to be friends with or climbing a big ass mountain. Everyone has something different that they're scared of. Do one thing everyday that you're nervous to do and it will lead to great things. Back in year 10 I did a speech in front of over 200 people, which was so scary to me. As soon as I walked off stage, a weight lifted off my shoulders and I was so proud of myself. Now I can happily speak in front of people without wanting to crawl up in a ball and roll away. Because of that one day I decided to apply for that role, I'll be able to be the girl I was on stage, for the rest of my life.

I'm going to set you one more challenge to do.

Cut out all the negativity in your life. Who needs it! All those fake friends you've been holding onto...get rid of them. All those grudges you've been holding...get rid of them. And all those doubts you have? Get rid of them. They're no good to you! Negativity is like the seal on a sauce bottle. It's stopping you from getting to what you want. Once it's gone, you can get on with it.

If you'd like to see a part two, please leave a comment, tweet or snapchat me!

I hope that you have a wonderful day! And remember, you're incredible.

Essena's video:

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